I doubt you'll ever read this...but if you do stumble upon this blog while you're in the joint, I hope you'll stop long enough to read what I have to say.
You must be crazy, dude. And I'm not saying "crazy" like my Aunt Celeste who thought she was married to that television star on "The F.B.I." (and she'd get all dressed up on Friday night because she thought he could see her through the tv), or "crazy" like when my dog chases her tail for 15 minutes until she's almost vomity, or even "crazy" like what NJ calls me when he thinks I've pulled another Lucy Ricardo.
Nope, you're way crazy-er than all that. What in the hell made you think you are a prophet anyway?
Ok, so I don't belong to the FLDS, or the LDS or any of those initial churches. I'm a Presbyterian, and my impression of the Presbyterian philosophy is pretty much live and let live. Actually, I kinda embrace all religions. We've got Buddhas here at the house and crosses blessed by the Pope, and Chinese Fu Dogs, and tons of evil eyes...and I think there's just one God, and we all worship Him, no matter what we call him. Except you guys, I think maybe you've worshipped yourselves off the deep end to downright creepy.
I'll be damned if I've ever heard of any religion where you can just pick out a 12 year old girl to marry. And to have sex with that poor meek child is revolting, capitol R. That's a whole new category of weird, man.
So, I hope and pray that all your women in the strange pastel prairie dresses and all that funky hair start packing up and getting the hell out of El Dorado tonight. (Girls, go to the Walmart and get yourselves some makeup and lipstick and some decent clothes, til you can get to a real department store. You all have a lot of living to do. And screw that submissiveness bs.)
One more thing, Warren. I suggest you hit your knees tonight and start begging our God for forgiveness, because the way I see it, you've got a one way ticket to Hell, bud.
With utmost sincerety,
Toni
Nice. I'm glad you're not mad at me.
ReplyDelete